A Minecraft Movie

Honestly, I don’t know what Warner Bros were thinking when they made this movie. I thought I was going to like this movie, because I can appreciate a piece of high-quality brainrot content. But this movie wasn’t even brainrot; it was boring. And that is the worst thing a movie can possibly be. 

First of all, every single character was executed abhorrently. The writers could have tried to work the spirit of the game into the script through the different characters, but it feels like they half tried for the little kid and gave up on everything else. The movie establishes that the kid (I won’t bother to search up his name) likes engineering, which is a great trait that can be explored in the Minecraft world as him learning how to use redstone to get out of tricky situations. But instead, redstone is pretty much only shown in that lava chicken scene, and his interest is irrelevant to the plot as a whole.  He is also insanely annoying and unlikable, which is really bad for this kind of movie, where characters should be charming to some degree. 

The other characters are so much worse off. They could have given Minecraft related interests to each of them; maybe one is super into fighting and martial arts, so when they find out they can fight monsters in Minecraft, they go full on genocide mode. Another character could love architecture (I feel like this trait would particularly suit Wednesday’s roommate), and build cool stuff. The point is, no matter who you are, Minecraft is a game that has at least one aspect you would enjoy a lot. It is truly universal, but that isn’t even an idea they try to bring into the movie. Like, why would anyone even think of making the sister character a salesperson? She is a CHILD! And she doesn’t even try to barter with a villager (or piglin). Every single character is so annoying, flat, and stupid that the movie is unwatchable. 

Again, I mentioned how I sometimes do enjoy brainrot content (in the ironic way, of course), but I actually think this movie doesn’t have enough of it. Too much is spent yapping about things nobody cares about, and the plot isn’t even interesting. It’s empty. I’d be happy if there was more chicken jockey and of everything else, honestly.

Solid 3/10. So utterly disappointed.